Doc Rockstar

That's right, we're talking "ALTERNATIVE" medicine. *guitar riff* If I were a doctor, I'd totally go into an alternative field. There is just something so deliciously unbalanced about someone who goes through about twenty years of rigorous scientific schooling only to decide, "You know what, screw it, I really think hot rocks and seaweed are the penicillin of the future."

My mother-in-law called today and began the conversation with, "I did something for Bumble, and you can kill me later." That has one of the less desirable ways to start a conversation with your mother-in-law. It turns out her only transgression was taking the liberty of making Bumble a chiropractic appointment without asking me first. And offering to pay for it. The woman is a monster, I tell you!

No problems here. A close friend of my family's is a chiropractor so I'm very comfortable with it. That said, some of them are a little kooky, which is why I love to tease her about the hot rocks. The last one I went to see told me, among other sage advice, that "Sugar is a breeding ground for all disease. If people stopped eating sugar there would be no illness." What, none? And to think I had been under the impression that illness was caused by things like genes, and germs, and viruses. No, ladies and gentlemen, it's sugar. So the next time you catch cancer, you will be cursing the brownie that did you in with its evil fudgy temptation.

In any case, this chiropractor apparently says he has had some success with children that don't eat by adjusting them. Bumble's surgery is scheduled to place her feeding tube, so I am working hard on accepting this rather than torturing myself envisioning possible 11th hour "miracle cures". I don't have high expectations for the visit, but I'm also willing to try it. It won't kill her. Although, you know when you get adjusted and the doctor cracks your neck at the end by giving your head a sharp twist to each side? I totally envision that killing me every time.